Tongue-In-Cheek Bigfoot

Another tongue-in-cheek article about Bigfoot. I guess any press is good press right?

Although I do like the addition of her five favorite cytptids.

To read the article expand post below or click here.


Do you believe in Bigfoot?
It is a creature that answers to many names: Abominable Snowman, Yeti, Yowie Man, Sasquatch and, of course, Bigfoot. It's also one that has served as fodder for campfire and supermarket tabloid stories for decades.

Frame 352 from the Patterson-Gimlin film showing Bigfoot (or a man in an ape suit).
Although thousands of people claim to have spotted the hairy hominoid (as nearby as the Oregon Caves in Grants Pass, Oregon, and mostly by men who were "relieving" themselves at the time — go figure), the evidence of its actual existence remains fairly fuzzy. There are few (if any) clear photographs or video footage of the grooming-challenged, bipedal beast, and what does exist tends to resemble a man awkwardly disguised in a gorilla suit. No bones have ever been found and countless pranksters have admitted to faking footprints.
When the well-known Bigfoot tracker Ray Wallace died in a California nursing home in 2002, his children announced that their prank-loving pop had used a pair of carved wooden feet to create a track of giant footprints in a northern California logging camp back in 1958.
But Bigfoot advocates remain undeterred by this lack of forensic evidence. A small but vocal group of scientists and cryptozoologists hypothesize that this mysterious animal is the offspring of an ape from Asia that wandered to North America during the Ice Age. They believe there are at least 2,000 ape men walking upright in North America's woods today.
An adult male is said to be at least eight feet tall, weigh 800 pounds and have feet twice the size of our own. Bigfoots are believed be shy, omnivorous and mostly nocturnal. Many encounter stories also describe a terrible stench associated with the camera-elusive, grooming-challenged beast. (Remember the 80s film classic "Harry and the Hendersons?" Check it out for a quick and entertaining refresher course on Bigfoots.)
Some consider the most compelling photographic evidence of Bigfoot to be a controversial short film shot by Roger Patterson in 1967, which appears to document a female Bigfoot striding along a riverbank in northern California. Even renowned chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall surprised an interviewer from National Public Radio in 2002 when she said she was sure that large, undiscovered primates, such as the Yeti or Sasquatch, exist. Yet oddly, no Bigfoot has ever been captured, dead or alive.
Do you believe Bigfoot is real?
Just for some Monday fun, here's a brief summary of my top five favorite cryptids:
• El Chupacabra - The name (from the Spanish words chupar, meaning "to suck" and cabra, meaning "goat") comes from the animal's reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1990 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile. It is supposedly a stocky creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail.
• Loch Ness Monster - This lake creature was "discovered" in 1933 and is believed to inhabit Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. The legendary monster has been affectionately referred to as "Nessie" since the 1950s.
• Hodag - In 1893, newspapers reported the discovery of a Hodag in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. It had "the head of a frog, the grinning face of a giant elephant, thick short legs set off by huge claws, the back of a dinosaur and a long tail with spears at the end." Well-known Wisconsin timber cruiser and prankster Eugene Shepard displayed a "captured" Hodag at a county fair, but eventually admitted that the animal was a hoax.
• Kraken - These sea monsters of gargantuan size are said to have dwelt off the coasts of Norway and Iceland. The legend may have originated from sightings of real giant squid that are the size of an average swimming pool with 10 foot long tentacles and eyes the size of soccer balls. These creatures normally live at great depths, but have been sighted at the surface and have reportedly "attacked" ships.
• Jackalope - This animal is said to be a cross between a jackrabbit and an antelope. The tales of jackalopes may have been inspired by sightings of rabbits infected with the Shope papilloma virus also known as Epidermodysplasia verruciformis (eep!), which causes the growth of horn- and antler-like tumors in various places on a rabbit's head and body. For more entertaining info check out this link.
Which cryptid would you most want as a pet?
Posted By: Amelia Glynn (Email) | August 17 2009 at 05:22 PM