Sasquatch Birth Journal: Filed under Bizarre

There has been some preliminary buzz about this video for sometime. Now it is available in it's completeness. We wanted to make sure you watch this at your own discretion. Not only is this bizarre, but it is also graphic.

On the Website Sasquatch Birth Journal the following factoids are presented:

Estimated Weight of Pregnant Female: 275lb/125kg/62flbn*
*Flibbon(flbn) has been theorized as a rudimentary unit of weight developed within Sasquatch culture.

Estimated Foot Size: 1.5ft/1.48168Pc

Estimated Weight of Infant: 15.4lb/7kg/3.27flbn

Estimated Area of Sasquatch Vagina in Hectares: .000025hec

Gestation Period: approximately fourteen months

The North American Sasquatch is a megafaunal bipedal hominoid, also known as "Bigfoot", "Nuk-luk" or "Woolybooger". Both female and male alike are considered to be highly promiscuous and generally lack discretion in regard to hygiene. The male Sasquatch unceremoniously abandons the female immediately upon impregnation. This leaves the female to fend for herself during the intense seventy-two hour labor period. The standard birthing posture is upright, scientifically referred to as "Inverted Supine" or "Gravity-Fed Style". Traditionally a tree serves as the midwife; seizing it by its trunk, the female is provided with ample protection, leverage, and stability. Once the female's water breaks(approx. six gallons in volume) she seeks out a secluded deciduous tree, its trunk an average of three feet in diameter, thick enough to support the expecting mother and her firm embrace. Typically the female Sasquatch tends to avoid trees of the coniferous variety when making her choice. There are two theories behind this: One, is that the sap/tar secretions are a nuisance during the already complicated birthing process, and two, is in order to avoid exposure to pine nuts, which are considered toxic to the Sasquatch newborn.

SECOND WARNING! This is graphic, but tasteful.

You learn more about the Zellner bros on the website below.




EXTERNAL LINKS
Zellner Bros official Website
Sasquatch Birth Journal

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Award Winning Director, Christopher Munch, Premiers "Letters from the Big Man" at Sundance

Okay fans, this is truly breaking news. A new Sasquatch movie is set to premier at the Sundance Film Festival 2011. Titled, Letters from The Big Man, this movie promises to be the first true-to-life portrait of Sasquatch. Currently we have only received a promotional poster, but we have been in contact with the director and plan to follow up with a trailer as we get closer to the world premier on January 20th.

We can't express how excited we are to see this movie. It has the potential to redefine how popular culture thinks of Bigfoot.



Below, are synopsis of the movie from around the web.

Internet Movie Database

Sarah Smith, an artist and government hydrologist, sets out on a post-fire stream survey in a remote part of the Kalmiopsis Wilderness of southwestern Oregon. In the course of her journey through this ancient and ecologically diverse land, she unwittingly finds herself interacting with a sasquatch man, and a mutual curiosity ensues. As their friendship deepens, Sarah must take bold steps to protect his privacy, as well as her own.

Salt Lake Tribune: Sundance 2011 Non-competitive line-up

“Letters From the Big Man” • Writer-director Christopher Munch (“The Sleepy Time Gal,” Sundance 2001) returns with this story of an artist and hydrologist (Lily Rabe) who must protect a Sasquatch man (Isaac C. Singleton Jr .) she meets in Southern Oregon.

Variety.Com Sundance 2011 Non-competitive line-up

"Letters From the Big Man" - Directed and written by Christopher Munch. About an artist and government hydrologist surveying a remote part of southwestern Oregon. With Lily Rabe, Jason Butler Harner, Isaac C. Singleton Jr., Jim Cody Williams, Fiona Dourif. World premiere.

DreadCentral.com

Letters From the Big Man / U.S.A. (Director and screenwriter: Christopher Munch) - An artist and government hydrologist surveying a remote part of southwestern Oregon befriends a sasquatch man and must take bold steps to protect his privacy, as well as her own. Cast: Lily Rabe, Jason Butler Harner, Isaac C. Singleton Jr., Jim Cody Williams, Fiona Dourif. World Premiere (Again, no telling how much of a true genre film this is from its brief description, but it involves a sasquatch and Foy would never forgive us if we didn't at least mention it!)

External Links
The Director's, Christopher Munch, IMDB Page
Letters from The Big Man IMDB Page