Sasquatch Birth Journal: Filed under Bizarre

There has been some preliminary buzz about this video for sometime. Now it is available in it's completeness. We wanted to make sure you watch this at your own discretion. Not only is this bizarre, but it is also graphic.

On the Website Sasquatch Birth Journal the following factoids are presented:

Estimated Weight of Pregnant Female: 275lb/125kg/62flbn*
*Flibbon(flbn) has been theorized as a rudimentary unit of weight developed within Sasquatch culture.

Estimated Foot Size: 1.5ft/1.48168Pc

Estimated Weight of Infant: 15.4lb/7kg/3.27flbn

Estimated Area of Sasquatch Vagina in Hectares: .000025hec

Gestation Period: approximately fourteen months

The North American Sasquatch is a megafaunal bipedal hominoid, also known as "Bigfoot", "Nuk-luk" or "Woolybooger". Both female and male alike are considered to be highly promiscuous and generally lack discretion in regard to hygiene. The male Sasquatch unceremoniously abandons the female immediately upon impregnation. This leaves the female to fend for herself during the intense seventy-two hour labor period. The standard birthing posture is upright, scientifically referred to as "Inverted Supine" or "Gravity-Fed Style". Traditionally a tree serves as the midwife; seizing it by its trunk, the female is provided with ample protection, leverage, and stability. Once the female's water breaks(approx. six gallons in volume) she seeks out a secluded deciduous tree, its trunk an average of three feet in diameter, thick enough to support the expecting mother and her firm embrace. Typically the female Sasquatch tends to avoid trees of the coniferous variety when making her choice. There are two theories behind this: One, is that the sap/tar secretions are a nuisance during the already complicated birthing process, and two, is in order to avoid exposure to pine nuts, which are considered toxic to the Sasquatch newborn.

SECOND WARNING! This is graphic, but tasteful.

You learn more about the Zellner bros on the website below.




EXTERNAL LINKS
Zellner Bros official Website
Sasquatch Birth Journal

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Todd Standing: The Panda and The Rocky Mountain Gigantoppithicus

We have been awfully critical of Todd Standing. Just read any of our Todd Standing Posts. If you don't know Todd Standing he is in charge of the Syvanic Bigfoot Project. The Sylvanic Bigfoot Project's goal is to obtain enough physical evidence to implement government legislation that will ensure the survival of Bigfoot. We don't really care for his evidence. We will say, after seeing him recently in interviews, he does a great job relaying many of the informational pillars of Bigfooting.

Although just posted today (01-29-11) on You Tube, this 2007 follow-up video to his coast to coast interview is a nice presentation to the Giganto theory. He uses the panda's reliance on bamboo as an analogue for why Giganto would have to find other food sources.

We noticed there was no mention of The Sylavanic Bigfoot instead he uses a far sexier term, Rocky Mountain Gigantopithecus. He should have stuck with that, due to the criticism he has encountered. Todd claimed the area where he encountered and filmed Bigfoot was called Sylvanic by native people. Sylvan actually owes its lexiconography to the Medieval Latin sylvnus, from Latin Silvnus, god of the woods, from silva, forest.

We found the video was packaged really well, it was clear and interesting and well worth the watch.



EXTERNAL LINKS
Sylvanic.com Todd's Official Site
Toddster's You Tube Page

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Cryptomundo X BigfootLunchClub Collaboration

Not since chocolate and peanut butter has such a combination made so much sense. Well, bananas and strawberries are pretty good too. We are extremely excited and proud to announce that Bigfoot Lunch Club is now a contributor to Cryptomundo.com.

Nothing changes here, all the same breaking news, exclusive reports and humor you have come to love will continue. Basically, we will have another way for people to find us, and it gives us an opportunity to add to the great body of work already established by Craig Woolheater and Loren Coleman.

We would like thank Craig Woolheater for inviting and welcoming us aboard. This collaboration is at the heart of what we try to encourage at Bigfoot Lunch Club; share openly and support each other. None of us have a monopoly on truth or good ideas.

So please give Cryptomundo some love back and visit them by clicking on the "Cryptomundo Contributor" button below, Loren Coleman has been prolific about his postings this week and there are tons of great stuff to read.